Perfect or imperfect

Dr. Cecilia Leung Clinical Psychologist

She's only seven years old, and she told me she's a perfectionist.

That day, she forgot to bring her homework during group training, losing three stamps. She was completely distracted for the entire session and couldn't even answer the questions. Her performance afterwards was lackluster, and she couldn't make up for the lost stamps.

Once they fall behind, negative emotions arise, and they are unable to recover their performance.

I can't afford to lose.

After a long silence, she said that she was pursuing perfection too high.

I thought to myself, "Yes, he got third place last year, and this year he says he'll get second."

I told her that people who strive for perfection are those who feel imperfect themselves, while those who feel good enough don't pursue perfection. I asked her if she knew where this feeling of imperfection came from.

She said she didn't know.

I guessed it came from "home." She asked me how I knew. Of course, it was just a guess.

My parents are imperfect, yet they are my roots. My roots are imperfect, so how can I be perfect? I strive to achieve success to prove myself good enough, and what I'm fighting against is my fundamental imperfection.

However, no achievement can overshadow the primal shame, yet the urge to prove oneself cannot be stopped.

This is a never-ending defeat.

What can we do then?

We will eventually become individuals and understand that our parents' imperfections do not mean that we are imperfect. Or, at some point, we will understand that imperfection is beautiful enough.

Is it better to discover this life issue at the age of seven than to discover it at the age of seventeen or twenty-seven? Family complexes are so complicated. Can we loosen the ties once we straighten out the front and rear? We have more time, is there anything we can do earlier?

I looked at her natal chart and realized that besides the sun, the moon was also in Scorpio.

I asked her, "Can you lose?"

She gave me a bright smile.

"Can't."